Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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