I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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