why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize