I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
