If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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