You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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