For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize