just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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