you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
