Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize