Sponge bath it is.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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