their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
