how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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