I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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