Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
