He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
