but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
