mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
