Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
