Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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