Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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