At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
