I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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