So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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