If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
