You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
