Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
