Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
