Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
