thus making me awesome and them whores
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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