This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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