the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
