it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
