Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
