you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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