i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
