Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
