so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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