Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
