Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
