Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
