you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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