Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Randomize
