I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
should my penis look like a turkey
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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