Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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