Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
