Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
