five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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