your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
