Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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