Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
