i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
