Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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