Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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