she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
