I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
