Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
