Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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