why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize