No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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